Mindset: Is More Really Means More?

“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” -Steve Maraboli
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Life is a series of event, shapping the way we are today. From our past experience we learn how the world respond to our actions, thoughts, and emotions. It’s recorded over and over again in our brain, every details of an event, our emotion and thought at the time. We grow up with the mindset our environment created when we were child, our childhood experience had a significant impact today, regardless of what we think about it now. When I was in elementary, I had to speak at the front of my class as an assignment and was very shy about it. But I succeed, and the next time I had to speak in front of many audience I felt more comfortable and confident. These events happened many times during my school year and I got more confidence as I practiced, you see that with favorable mindset from ourselves and supportive environment everybody can change the traits they have.

Life isn’t a static journey with linear storyline, it has many valley and peak, opportunity and weakness. Once we accept that we could change ourselves, the way we see the world and live more positively, we tend to be more relaxed and enjoying a better life. What is a better life anyway? Is it more material goods, popularity, and power? No, at least for me it looks more like a peace of mind. A peace means no worry about tomorrow and enjoying present life. No regrets about the past and not expecting the future. Realized that not expecting the future is different with preparing for the future. The former is unwanted while the latter is recommended. There’s a phrase, “living in the future” which mean we are continously expecting to achieve something in the future, when we had…., when we reach….., when we are promoted to….., and many others. As a human we rarely satisfied with what we have, we strive for more and more. I thought that once I had an Omega watch I would be happy, then I bought it and want another watch. The next year I bought that “other watch”, Jaeger Le-Coultre reverso. And now I want another Rolex….

Our wants are endless, but our needs are few. Really, what do we need other than shelter, food, security, and companion? The others are merely “wants”, it’s not bad thing to have many wants as long as we realize it is complimantary of our life. Here’s the connection for the two paragraph: When we were a child, we learned our parents work to earn more salary, buy a bigger house, buy a secondary car, travel to other country for holiday, and limitless wants which is different for each family. We learned that more is better, more money will bring more happiness and bigger house will bring more respect.

What if it is wrong? What if, instead of happiness, more goods bring us more stress? That is what I’m observing my whole teenage years, in my own home, my friends, families, and complaints from many housewife. Bigger home needs more maintanance, another car needs a space and service anually, more money needs more management (not that it is bad). What I’m trying to get across is for you and me to reflect deeper if more of something always bring more benefits to our life in the long term.

I’ve read books and practice it myself where we throw out 80% of our goods inside our closet, wardrobe, bookshelf, and feel much happier that way. Now I have become obsessed with living in simplicity, having only few goods that is essential and throw everything else. And I know I feel happier than I have ever been with all those useless crap. Would you be happier by living in simplicity? I don’t know about you, but it’s a straight YES for me. If you think you would love to live in simplicity, you could start with buying less goods, giving everything but the essential, and throw everything else away.

By the way, my sister is strictly against this mindset. Today she had 4X number of goods I have and often forgets where she stored her goods! Not everybody like the idea of simplicity, but you might want to give it a try because if you love it later, it would be worth the price!

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South Africa: Day 3 -Sunrise, Safari, Sun City

Second day in South Africa, I woke up at 5 am in The Palace Hotel Sun City. After taking a quick shower I packed my backpack and get ready for the morning safari, a dream I had since I picked up a camera six years ago. I had scouted a chateu last night for today’s sunrise photoshoot, it is located at the highest tower in the building with more staircase going up to the top of the chateu. From here, you could see everything from the golf course, swimming pool, valley of the waves, etc. The sunrise is captivating with a transition from the orange to bluish-dark sky. I spent thirty minutes up there, taking every side of the resort from above despite the strong wind. At seven I went to the hotel lobby and had breakfast at Crystal Court Restaurant, they served buffett of international choice, bacon, sausages, variety of bread, and sushi along with rice menu.

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Eight in the morning I met with the other tour group and choose our safari vehicle, you could choose a large truck or a jeep. I went with the jeep consist of seven other people, it was cold on the way to the park! I wear a shirt layered with safari vest, supported with blanket given by the ranger and driver of the jeep. For the next three hours I spent my time clicking my camera, at first the safari sounds not promising, there were only plain fields with groups of ox. Then we wandered further to a deeper savanah and I took more scenery shots. Our driver is very experienced, he brought a radio telecommunication along with the other driver so they could communicate and tell each other where interesting animal are located. In the end of the safari my jeep saw lion, giraffe, rhino, zebra, elephant, and few other “minor” animals. It was a good one said my ranger, it’s unusual to be able to see variety of animal in one trip.

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Our ranger drive us back to the hotel and I tipped him R200 ($20) for his hard work. At the hotel my family and I went touring around the other hotel in the resort. We went to Cabanas Hotel, Sun Hotel and Casino, Cascade Hotel, and the facilities in there. We went eating in Treasure Island Snack Bar, grab hot dog and fries for lunch. After lunch we explored the nearby playground area, golf course, and I went to a Casino for the first time in life! I spent R50 ($5) and lose it there, so I decided to get out before burning more money.

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At three o’clock we want to go to a crocodile farm and saw their “eating” session for half hours. Unfortunately we got lost because we try to walk instead of riding a bus, we passed some creepy places with uncomforting signs. But eventually we got there on time for the show and still have some extra time to go around the farm. To avoid getting lost again we decided to take a bus ride back to Cascade Hotel where Santorini Restaurant located, but once we got to the restaurant it turned out that we can’t have dinner there except by booking earlier that day. So we took another ride to the Palace Hotel where we stay and have dinner at “The Tusk Bar”, I ordered Lamb with rice which is extremely good. While waiting for dinner to start in thirty minutes, I went back to the Chateu I visited earlier this morning for watching sunset. The sunset was incredible as usual.

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Today was fun and probably the best day of my life! Going on a safari has been on my bucket list for some time, and going to five continents before twenty one is one of life goals I set on my teenage years.

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South Africa: Day 2 -Airport, Voortrekker, Union, Sun City

My first day in Johannesburg begin soon as I arrive in the Tambo O.R. Airport, it was a decent airport with long immigration process and queue line. While queing I saw three people get into trouble and went to the office, my tour leader said that probably they are people from another African countries trying to get into South Africa illegaly, because South Africa is the most developed country in African continent. After we took our luggage and bring it to the bus, we went to our first tour around the beautiful city of Pretoria, Voortrekker Monument (a fortress made to watch the area), then we went to union building (the white house of South Africa).

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At noon we stop for lunch in a Chinese Restaurant called Jasmine Palace, located across a hospital in the city of Pretoria. We buy supplies like water, snacks, and others bough a charger converter. Next we are going to the Sun City! The best and largest entertainment center in the continent and perhaps in the world! We checked in our baggage, then we are free to tour around in the resort.

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I’m very excited touring around the Sun City, I got about four hours before I have to go to rendezvous point for dinner in another hotel in the resort. First I explored the left wing of the hotel, leading to a small path across the wood, and ended in Golf course. After I took some photos I continue my walk into a deeper forest and found myself in the back side of the hotel, the same location with the pool.

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The security is pretty strict in the Palace hotel, it is the the best hotel in the resort and other people (non-resident) are not allowed to go to the Palace, so you have to show your ID everytime they asked (you got the ID once you checked in). I walk further to a whirpool, to the valley of wave, and paid R100 ($10) to play the maze and bridge of time.
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I check for time and unconsciously I have spend 3 hours wandering! I have to take a bus back to the Palace and took a shower. So I did, and at night I went back to the place I went to the earlier evening for long exposure photography.

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South Africa: Day 1 -Departure, Singapore Transit, On Air

Today I went to Soekarno Hatta Airport to go to Johannesburg, South Africa. This is the trip I’ve dream for more than 5 years, and the last continent I haven’t visited in the world. This is it. I lock my apartment at nine in the morning, took a taxi to the airport and took off. I have a transit for nine hours in Singapore Changi airport and to fill the time I went for a short city tour around the town. The first stop is Merlion statue in front of Marina Bay Sands Hotel, a very common tourist attraction. There are many street food and five star restaurant nearby, but I didn’t buy any snacks because I had just eat inside the airplane.

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The second stop is a restaurant near Singapore Flyer, a giant wheel with over 150 m heights above the ground. It is a thirty minutes ride, when you get above the ground you could see the whole city from the cylindrical-glass. I had a buffett afterward at a restaurant in the same complex with the flyer, along with the other group members.

Next we go to Marina Bay Shopping Mall, one of the most luxurious mall in Singapore. It carries branded names like LV, Gucci, Prada, you name it. And for a watch lover like me, window shopping at Patek Philippe, Jaeger Le-Coultre, Rolex, AP, Lange was a wonderful time despite I didn’t have a budget for buying another watch. From Marina Bay, I split with my group and decide to go back to airport to take a shower, while they are going to Orchard Road for the next stop. I took MRT to Changi Airport which took about 40 minutes and change train two times, the interchange in Paya Lebar and two station before the airport.

Soon as we arrive in the airport we (I and my family) took an elevator from the basement and pass the immigration process. We forget the name of the lounge where we could take a shower and ask the information, which were very helpful. Rainforest lounge is the name, in Terminal 1. The lift to rainforest lounge was horrifying, it took about a minute to bring us from level two to level three, which is unusual under any circumstances. Each person cost S$10.30, so we paid S$41.20 and the receptionist gave us four towel. The bathrooms are pretty decent actually, but you’ll have a little problem by bringing your luggage in to the 1X2 m cubicle. There were cold shower only and the one with hot water bathroom, so be careful in entering any of the cubicle.

After taking the shower, we could grab a drink and allowed to sit for fifteen minutes only in the lounge so I got hurried in taking advantage of the wi-fi and download all e-mails, facebook, etc. It was worthed for me to paid only $10 to have a shower, because I can’t a shower for the next 30 hours. Soon as I landed in Johannesburg we would take a tour around the city and get to hotel at night. With 11 hours flight and activities until 7 pm the next day I would feel tired without a shower.

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The problem now for me as I’m writing this post is how to sleep well inside the “luxurious” economy seat for the next 11 hours. So I wake up with my left ass tingling and slight back pain, but nothing serious though. Believe me, I’ve tried all position sleeping this time, from the neonatus position to all body parts straight. In the neonatus or baby position, my back hurts against the chair hand which separates me and my mother. While in all straight position my ass got slipped many times and I have to adjust my position everytime I woke due to uncomfortable position it resulted. I think it is worthed to buy a business ticket for long haul flight if you have the budget.

Now I’m one hour and thirty minutes from landing in Johannesburg, I think I’ll listen to Opera with my trusty Bose QC15. It is the best noise cancelling headphone ever (until I write this post), and frequent traveller are familiar with this headset. Once you turn it on, it block the noise from you environment due to the noise isolating, plus the “low frequency” noise like the engine. It gives me a very good sound, way better than Beats monster which my sister had.

I just come back from the plane’s bathroom now, taking a morning dump. Ha! I’m ready for the world!

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Common Mid-Life Regrets

agent909:

A very good article about living a life worth living for. A must read for youngster!

Originally posted on TIME:

Answer by James Altucher on Quora.

Everyone wants to know what dead people say right before they die. Words maybe infused with speckles of a heaven. Beethoven supposedly said on his deathbed, “Friends applaud! the comedy is finished!” Lou Costello said, “This was the best ice cream soda I ever tasted.” Similar is, “What are common regrets of people in their 30s and 40s?” Can they be avoided if known?

Here are my regrets. And they can be summed up by the word “don’t.”

Don’t buy things
Buy experiences. A thing is a house. An experience is a trip. An experience is a visit to that girl or guy on the other side of the world who said, “maybe.” An experience is an invitation to meaning instead of material.

Don’t do anything you don’t want to do
You think you have time to get out of it. But you…

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South Africa Compilation Nighttime

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How To Fight In a Healthy Way

“You get in the biggest fight with people you care about the most because those are the relationships you’re willing to fight for”

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Fighting is one thing we had in common when we are interacting with other people, most of the time it produces negative and unwanted effect to our day. That is the reason people try to avoid fighting at all when it doesn’t have to be that way. Actually I encourage couple to fight with each other in order to understand more deeply their partner. Every one of us had beliefs differently compared with our peers, our environment while growing up and the closest people around us takes part in shaping us the way we are now. One situation might be translated differently by different person, take an example of a criticism. A negative minded person see it as an obstacle, finding what’s lacking in himself and avoid the critic. A positive minded person take it differently though, they see critic as a constructive thought and use it to enhance his performance, he embrace the critic and assess himself to be better in the future. The next question to ask is, “what makes a person have positive/negative mindset?”

People with positive mindset roots from a strong-healthy family, well-nurtured in their growing phase, and see the world as “good untile proven otherwise”. And most negative people come from a divorce or broken family, criticized destructively in their growing phase, and see the world as “bad until proven otherwise”. Wait, did I mean. Broken family always produce negative people and vice versa? No, what I’m saying above is a generalization over statistical data in the fields. Few children growing up in a chaotic family does turn into a positive minded people, how could this happened?

The answer is intervention, it could be described as an external and strong experience or thought which change the way individual think. Fruits won’t fall far from the tree, unless someone kick it. It was once a popular phrase in my country when people tried to forecast a child future. How could this relate to “fighting in a healthy way” ? Well, before you say anything to your counterpart, first assess his/her mindset. Is he someone who want to improve his life quality? Does he take criticism in a healthy way then reflect upon it? Or does he got angry easily when someone offend him? Just by classifying your counterpart to “positive” or “negative”, we could know if you can fight with him in a healthy way. Well, you got the point. Someone who is positive will have a bigger chance of taking a verbal fight constructively, rather than defending his ego and attacking back.

And what if my counterpart is a negative person, or simply a positive person but currently having a bad mood? Here’s the list to make that conversation end up with a way out:
– Never argue about two things at a time. If your counterpart is talking about another problem when you are talking about your’s, finish discussing his problem first then get back to your’s.
– Listening is the key principle. How hard could it be to listen and not cutting someone’s speech? Pretty hard it turned out for most people. Agree before the fight that both of you are going to respect what each other said.
– Take time to reflect after fifteen minutes or so, reflecting what your counterpart said usually produce some truth you could use to be aware of your behavior.
– Realize that you are fighting with each other because you still care and want to maintain your relationship with him. If you don’t care about your relationship or him, then you might want to shut up and move on.
– Every problem has a solution. Divorce and bankruptcy is a solution as well despite the fact that nobody wants it. Every action we took had its consequence and there will be time to be responsible for it.
-And if the conversation doesn’t go anywhere, ask a neutral friends about his view of your problem.

dp

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Why a Quarter of Millennials Will Never Get Married

agent909:

Interesting article why young people won’t marry, as a person who doesn’t want to get married myself this article resonate with my point of view.

Originally posted on TIME:

The number of Americans who have always been single and will never marry is at a historic high, says a new Pew Research report, partly because they don’t have jobs and partly because marriage is becoming less highly-regarded. Most people think it’s important for couples who intend to stay together to be married, but the number of single Americans who want to get married has dropped significantly even in the last four years.

The report, based on census data and Pew’s surveys, is the latest in a series of indicators that marriage’s stock is on a sharp downward trajectory. Fewer young people are getting married and many are getting married later. About 20% of Americans older than 25 had always been single in 2012, up from 9% in 1960. In the black community, the numbers are even starker: 36% of black Americans older than 25 have never been married, a…

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What 5 Counterintuitive Things Can Help You Make Better Choices?

agent909:

A path to happiness by having less choice in life, when rationally we want to have more choice and option. A well researched book!

Originally posted on TIME:

You love having lots of choices.

But having more choices isn’t always a good thing — ever see so many good options that you end up picking… nothing?

Barry Schwartz has spent a great deal of time researching this issue and in his excellent book The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less he explains how we can make ourselves happier and more fulfilled by reducing choice.

What are the 5 steps?

  1. We would be better off if we embraced certain voluntary constraints on our freedom of choice, instead of rebelling against them.
  2. We would be better off seeking what was “good enough” instead of seeking the best (have you ever heard a parent say “I want only the ‘good enough’ for my kids”?)
  3. We would be better off if we lowered our expectations about the results of decisions.
  4. We would be better off if the decisions we made were…

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Stock Broker Endurance

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One of the most stressful job, yet one of the highest paid as well.

wpc

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